Friday, May 12, 2006

How to Become a Dictator in 6 Easy Steps

Here's how to become a dictator in 6 easy steps:

1) Scare the people with false flag attacks, exaggerated threats of foreign and domestic enemies, etc.

2) Present yourself, the would-be dictator, as a strong leader who will protect the people. Specifically, have your political and media lackies set you up as the "Great Leader". You must then "reluctantly" agree to save the country, since you have been "called" by God and the people to do so

3) Have the lackies trumpet you, the Great Leader, and reinforce a constant state of fear and confusion in the people non-stop -- so that the people gradually transfer all of their allegiance to the Great Leader as the only one who can lead the protection efforts to save their backsides

4) Have your lackies viciously attack anyone who questions the Great Leader as undermining the effort to save their backsides, and as helping the "enemy" (if you haven't developed a scary enough myth about the "enemy", go back to step 1)

5) Then the people will become so brainwashed that they'll do the attacking for you of anyone who questions you, the Great Leader

6) Cover and let sit for 5 minutes, and serve with caviar and cabernet.

Oops, wrong recipe... here's number 6:

Rape and plunder your nation's wealth and that of the countries you decide to invade. Spread the wealth around liberally to reward your lackies who helped you get there -- who will include some large defense contractors, media companies, and other corporations, and throw some loot at others you need to bribe to maintain your power.

This method works in any country, in any culture, in any period of time.

Update: There are technically 10 steps, according to experts.


Blogger EmptyGround said...

Sounds delicious. But you forgot the "decider" ingredient; i.e., the Great Leader must be a Decider Dictator. Then the sheep will follow.

12:50 PM  
Blogger amsaar1 said...

What r u all talking?
I am surpised to read that at this time we should stand firm as American, this President is People President and what none sense we hear?
Guess what?
George Bush announced after carefully following Chaves visit to London, He planned to Visit Baghdad next week; there will be 100,000 or millions of Iraqis who will be receiving Mr Preaident to thank him of his brave generosity in liberating the Iraqi People.
The President planned to restore Iraq and arranged 100,000 doctors to treat Iraqis as most of them have been victim of the war.
He promised to build 100.000 schools for Iraqi children's so no one should be out of school from now on, and the parent should not have any reason too.
He promised each Iraqi a secure job and for Iraqi free education in the USA.
He also promised to restore the Electricity and water so that the free Iraqi able to drink water of freedom, all the water will be airlifted from America.
He is going well beyond marshal plans even if the Neworlean dam postponed, and the 37 millions American living under the poverty line could wait for sake of democracy.And American people very understanding what Mr President is doing for their Great country men.
His Second stop will be Afghanistan; He will have over million of Afghans to welcome him.
In addition of the Iraq package, he promised to make Afghans a drug free nation before this X mass.
To help the farmer, he will allow them to grow the drug and only sell them to the hands of CIA, so it will be in safe hands, and make sure that the People in the west will get the drugs with out the middle man this will make the drug cheeper in the west so the people can afford it.and they will have the wolrd time to enjoy it, it will as cheap as Oil pre 1970s.
This will teach not only Mullah Omar a lesson that Afghanistan moving towards democracy but it is very good lesson for HOV and the H Chaves.
The Iraq visit will be for a week, and he will be meeting all Iraqis with out an appointment, because he is the President of the People and an elected one too.
Same period and events planned for Afghanistan. The visit commence on 1st June and end in 15 June 2006. Both countries requested the president to extend his visit to two weeks, but due to the unending commitment of the President he will try to visit both countries in due course
So can the supporter of H Chaves shut up and see what the real democracy can deliver?

This is democracy at its best, here we have the people president, the president who has gained people heart and mined, the people any where r not stupid, can we see GW bush to carry out same visit with out bringing an army of security.He is the PEOPLE PRESIDENT, those who likes democracy or hate it, thats their problems, let them bark, while People President walks on his talks the rest of you the SHAVISM keep on talking on yr talk. God blesses America, and save Mr. President.?
So don't you think we should prepare public opinion and rajt up so we will be united behind our chief and supporting our troops with one voice is this too much for America?


12:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


It was to sheep like you that this article was specifically directed -- The rest of us are already aware of this strategy and don't need to hear it again.

Naturally, you don't get it. This is clearly demonstrated by your very first line, "what r u all talking"?

The answer to your actual question is "English" of course, but I'll be generous and assume you meant "what r u all talking ABOUT".

The very reason this strategy continues to work is because the enemies of freedom can always count on a healthy supply of morons like you.

Look, George Bush has promised A LOT of things! Like getting Osama Bin Laden and Iraq having WMD's, for instance. I just can't believe you haven't realized that just because this jackass promises something, DOESN'T MAKE IT SO!

There really isn't any point in further elaboration because I'm sure you wouldn't get that either.

Folks, let's face it, what we really need in this country is an IQ test for voting.

10:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Sam was being sarcastic.

2:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi jaydawg
Sam was being sarcastic. The "People president"? The president will "help the farmer, he will allow them to grow the drug and only sell them to the hands of CIA, so it will be in safe hands, and make sure that the People in the west will get the drugs with out the middle man this will make the drug cheeper in the west so the people can afford it". It's nowhere near hilarious, comedy won't help making this sad period of history better. Let's refocuse, without anger, and keep projecting the truth about 9/11 as being perpetrated by the US government(s), international bankers, international industrialists and the military.
thematrixexpert at

8:31 AM  
Blogger Rich Miles said...

Trouble is, there are people who could write what Sam wrote with full intent and a straight face. Now THAT'S scary, and it's also what makes it hard to tell if Sam is serious or sarcastic.

Frankly, my vote is for probably serious.

6:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, you're right, there are people who think like that. But I still think Sam was just being sarcastic.

4:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Absolutely brilliant !

7:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok everyone just stop, now we all know that the president has lied but this is not a really bad thing you see its the lying of thoes in power that keeps the idiots (no pointing please) from wrecking the world. I dont think that theres anything wrong with what sam said its his opinion and he's entitled to it. anyway read Empire by orson scott card it answers all questions.

12:29 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

That was truly wonderful. I hope you don't mind me emailing it to a person or two. If you do, tell me at


1:53 PM  
Blogger Nir&Sons said...

Ummm.. thanks for the guide
Keep up the good work!

5:04 PM  

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